User:CatDad
- comes out from under Armadillo*
Hey, can't you see I'm working here? Go away, we'll do this later.
- retreats back under vehicle, but only momentarily*
What, we gotta do this now now? Fuck, fine, but make it snappy. What do you need to know? ... You can call me CatDad. And this here, her name is Tandy. *smacks hood of truck*. She's my best friend. We've taken on so much together. She understands me so much more than any person ever has. How can that be? Simple. The only time a metal beast isnt your best friend is when someone fleshy is telling it not to be. They don't judge. They don't lie, or hide, or maniplulate. They just live. They just thrive. Tandy here, she thrives, more than I ever will, aint that right girl?
I can see you're creeped out by the cutsy talk. Yes, I know that the literal car isn't alive, asshole. But I can't remember the last time a car judged me for my cutsy talk, I can tell you that.
Anyway, this is what I live for. Getting inside beasts like her, figuring out what makes her tick, and riding off together into freedom, into adventure. Corny, ain't it? Look around though. This place is a shithole. I know I ain't free. Not since that rival corporate spy ruined my life, and Aztec saw an opportunity to profit. Keep this on the low-low, but I have a history with them. You've ever seen their propoganda about those mobile processing plants? The ones an acre large that roams giant wheat fields, a complex so advanced it can harvest, mill, and package product nearly fully automated. Bertha. She was a marvel of modern technology, and she was ~mine~. I could have driven her around for the rest of my days and never been unsatisfied. In the wageslave lottery, I had struck gold.
Until that fucker took it all away. I have no idea their name, their purpose, their goal. I just knew it was war, some Aztec beef I found myself in the center of. They wanted that complex and they did everything in their power to rip it from my fingers. And they were gooooooood. I was ripped out, jacked out, knocked out in a matter of seconds. And that's when it happened. I can only describe the sensation of falling, which is strange, because in this world there is no gravity. There's was no floor to fall to. But there I was and there was Bertha and she was being violated. I've never been so angry in my life. To this day I couldn't tell you what happened next, by the time I came to I was lying in the middle of the wheat field, Bertha was a husk of her former self, and there was no trace of the digital invasion. Aztec's investigation fell short of clearing my name but thankfully they couldn't conclude I had hijacked the complex "on purpose". They did decide I essentially owe them a lifedebt to cover the costs of repairs, they refuse to give me another Job, and they refuse to release my SIN until the debt is paid. So much for compassion.
So that's my story. Thats why I'm here now, in this shithole, probably the only unemployed wageslave for life in Tacoma. Can I go back to Tandy now?
